Although I see myself as a person who mostly knows what she wants, I am having a hard time to set my boundaries towards people who are aggressively stating what they want and overrun me. It makes me mad at myself , because it is my own fault! Let me give you a made up example:
You have a wedding party and you invited your closest friends because you want to keep it small, and then a neighbor you like but you wouldn’t call a close friend, hears about the wedding and next time you meet in the hallway, that neighbor says “Hey, so awesome you are having a wedding party. I heard about it, I love it. I wanna be invited! You make sure I am on the invitation list, right?”
My weakness in this moment is, I can’t say no. I also don’t want to say “Well, we only invite close friends” because I think I might hurt the person indicating, that it is not a close enough friend. Although actually exactly that way of approaching me is putting me off to no end. And that I can’t say no, makes me so mad at myself because I failed to reply in the way I really want to “I am sorry ,but…”
Indeed it makes me so mad at myself, I would almost like to put the wedding off. (not really…but as said… this is a made up example and if any of my friends are reading this- none of you did this for our wedding and all of you have been invited because we love you guys to no end!!! – plus you wouldn’t be my friends if you would be like the described person – seriously ;) )
I myself am the person that sits pouting in her room because she wasn’t on the invitation list, then ever ever saying out loud “I wanna be invited”. I always assume, I would have been included, if I was really wanted. I love to suffer in silence- LOL
Supplies: 7Gypsies Paper, Prima Brick Wall Stamp, Stamper’s Anonymous Stamp, Masking Tape, Heidi Swapp Color Shine, Tim Holtz Film, Ranger’s Distress Stain, Acrylic Paint, Heidi Swapp Chipboard Letters, Posca Marker, Stapler
I need to stop thinking that if I say no, or say ” I will think about this”, the person will be really really mad at me and never ever talk to me again. And, even if…right, then they obviously don’t give a rat’s tail about my boundaries and why would I want to respect them more than they do respect me?
I am working on it…promised!
Are you good in setting your boundaries?
Huge hugs
Nat
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