Before I die I want to….

Written by Nathalie Kalbach. Posted in Acrylicpaints, Inspirational Video, Mixed Media, Spraypaint

That would be my sentence if you would ask me to fill out the gaps. I was inspired by Candy Chang’s Before I die… Project.

I watched this TED speech below by Candy Chang in the evening, after a stupid paperwork load day, a day month of emails that let me question my choice of a profession as an artist, a day week that left me so uninspired that I asked myself “Who are you to think, you inspire others?”, a day that lead to an evening watching a tears-guaranteed chick flick movie and a bucket of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream on my lap (yeah hubs, that is what I do when you are gone ;) – all your fault- LOL) . Yep- I have whiny days …lot’s of them lately…and it sucks and leads to more ice cream…as if that helps ;) . So cuddled in bed (with a tummy aching from the ice cream) I watched this:

And when I woke up the next morning I had this “WHATEVER” happy feeling, cranked up the music and created this canvas inspired by Candy Chang, just for me without any goal …. just trying to be the person I already am. It felt good…it still does…

 

Before I die I want to become the person that I AM.

Meaning stop thriving to be a different person, stop being a people pleaser, stop sacrificing my goals and my dreams to fulfill other’s goals and dreams, stop whining (might still eat ice cream….), stop doubting myself, stop to wish I had a different childhood, start telling people into their face that they suck instead of smiling the smile of pleasantries because I want to be a better person, start allowing myself to be edgy as I am instead of only allowing it others and being jealous of that they are so true to themselves, start to be happy with all the amazing things that I am blessed with in my life and accept everything that wasn’t roses as part of what makes me ME. Just become the person that I am!

What would you fill in the gaps of: Before I die I want to….?

 

Nat

Nat

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Comments (19)

  • Kelly Belton

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    Nathalie – as an artist a teacher and a person you inspire people every day – how cool is that? Never be afraid to release your alter ego the “angry German” ’cause that’s part of what makes you awesome!

    Reply

  • france papillon

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    You are my inspiration.

    i don’t know how you find these videos, but please, keep sharing.
    bereknuffel!

    ps: love the piece it inspired you!

    Reply

  • Stephanie

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    I love so much this new one! And it’s so true!

    Reply

  • Jenny Palmer

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    Nat
    I am really sorry you are having some bad days but i can honestly say that YOU and Julie Fei Fan Balzer have inspired me so much that my deppression is so much better. Your style of teaching is so easy to understand I have done the excersise in the gesso classes twice the one where you glue the face into a book and gesso over them and then make them your own twice and both times i and my hubby have been so proud of them and in Julis class the same insiration.
    Please dont doubt yourself Iam 51 and have dealt with 3 austistic children [only 1 child normal whatever that is ]and a disabled husband and i have been a mum for 31yrs and I am only just beliving in myself now
    Last year we left the Jehovahs Witnesses they are a cult after years of being one I suffered badly at their hands but your insiration and style of teaching and art has litterly saved me helping me see colours again
    I cannot thank you enough
    Even though we dont know each other or ever meet I am truly grateful you have helped me more than you will ever know
    i am sorry if this is to personal

    Reply

    • Sue Clarke

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      Jenny, how brave of you to share this here. Nat’s questions and videos that she posts often inspire me and art has helped to bring me out of depressions in the past as well. My thoughts are with you as you come back to the world of being alive. Peace,
      Sue

      Reply

      • Jenny Palmer

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        Sue Clarke
        Thankyou for your message I was worried about posting as I normaly dont post and it was personel but I just felt that Nat needed to know she is brave and to remember we all are. Our circumstances might be different but the feelings and emotions are the same
        I am glad you feel better your message meant a lot to me

        Reply

        • Sue Clarke

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          It has been my experience that sharing our stories makes each of us stronger.
          You are welcome:-)

          Reply

    • Profile photo of Nathalie Kalbach

      Nathalie Kalbach

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      Thank you so much for your comment and opening up yourself! I am so glad that you found art! I am a big believer that art is a way of therapy. I am sending you a huge hug!!!

      Reply

  • Milagros

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    Si ahí días asi pero se han de remontar, cada día es un regalo y hay que aceptarlo tal y como viene pero siempre pensando en positivo, gracias por inspirarme y darme un nuevo punto de vista sobre el arte y los colores. Te dejo este enlace tomate 5 minutos de tu tiempo y admiraras a esa mujer.Alice

    Reply

  • mjmarmo

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    I also wonder where you find these videos! Wow – what an amazing video! Very inspiring. You are inspiring us too! Love what you created!

    Reply

  • sylvia

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    stay as special and edgy as you are – nobody wants another you!! i want to remember to stop whining but still have icecream in buckets – thats a good philosophy!!! hugs to you!!

    Reply

  • Sue Clarke

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    Nat, it is important to vent and don’t you just love movies and ice cream? OK, ice cream and anything;-)
    I don’t know where you find all these awesome videos, but keep sharing them as they are life changing!
    Candy Chang is such a clear and genuine speaker that I am blessed to have watched this today.
    Before I die I want to come to terms with my shape and size and be healthy.
    Before I die I want to prepare my son to be a happy adult.
    What a great prompt for an art journal or LO.
    Sending you love and {hugs}!
    Sue

    Reply

  • scrappegal

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    Fantastic canvas you made!! So you inspire more than you think! :)

    Reply

  • Dara Lynn

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    Oceans away….today I am touched….deeply…as I sit in the quiet craft room. Before I die, I want to make a difference in someone’s life. That profound difference that makes them a better person.

    Reply

  • Toñy Hernandez Ramos

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    Decirte Nat que muchas gracias de nuevo, porque tu arte me hace reflexionar dia a dia. Un abrazo

    Reply

  • rains

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    I love your honesty. I have a very similar sentence – to find authenticity. I too want to be brave enough to say it like it is and to accept that the “bad” is all part of what make it all worthwhile, in the end – i want to stop judging anything as good or bad and just let it all be. I am looking forward to watching the video.

    Reply

  • Miranda

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    Hi Nathalie, just discovered your blog and was touched by your openness and authentic message. Also I’ve enjoyed looking at this video, that kind of people really make the world more beautiful and add some essential! I think we must embrace ourselves in all facets of our being and I know also that’s sometimes not easy at all….in fact I am struggling every day with life and myself but then when I read these kind of messages I know there are so many people who do, so let me me embrace life, thanks again for your inspiration! greet from the heart, Miranda

    Reply

  • Lisa Flaherty

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    What a great message, Nat. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself and for invoking thoughtful contemplation about who I am, what I want, and how to express my true self. Hugs!

    Reply

  • Riikka

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    You’re such an inspiration! This video and your canvas really touched me as well as your text. <3

    Reply

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