Attention: This Blog Post contains cursing by a 93-year-old lady, if you have a problem with this, you might be better off looking at something else  . Don’t email me to complain, don’t visit my blog anymore because I might post things like this again and for sure do not let your kids read this!

Last weekend my sweet great-aunt Margot had her birthday. It was the first one in her new home. As some of you know it was a hard summer for her having a heart attack and stroke and I had to move her into an elderly home as there is no way she can live alone anymore. She really adjusted well, she made a lot of new friends, she goes to Bingo and Quiz Hour (where she likes to prompt and spoil the game- LOL), she has rosy cheeks and gained quite some weight- which is good!. She has very light moments, and some not so light moments- but the best thing is she didn’t loose her optimistic happy and friendly mood and the nurses told me they love her and the other inhabitants too and that she is lifting the spirit in the home.

(here she is  (who has been an avid photographer all her life)  right before stating that whatever I have in my hand (iPhone) to take a “photo” looks a bit pathetic (insert huge laughter of all younger people at table and silent approving nodding by older people at table)

For a couple of months my sweet aunt gets visits by a nice mid-aged lady who is a volunteer for an organization to visit older people. I think it is wonderful that there are people doing this. She is good minded and nice but unfortunately a person who likes to control. The last months I had several complaints by the nurses, she is always telling them they do things wrong and she is constantly telling me the way I do things are not right either. She also thinks she knows my aunt very well…which makes me sometimes crazy too.  It is very hair flipping and it honestly starts to push me over the edge sometimes. Just to give you an example: my aunt is changing her clothes about 7 times a day…she just does, when she is alone in her room she wanders to her wardrobe and starts going through all stuff. But of course she is not able to put everything back orderly in her wardrobe the way it should be. So the visiting lady calls me and goes into this long tirade about how bad the nursing home is in keeping the wardrobe orderly and that I have to take care of this. Then the nurse calls and complaints that this lady was scolding them for not being tidy enough. I feel like a little punchball.

But my aunt likes her, and it is about my aunt and not all of the others and I am happy that there is someone who visits her regularly given the fact she lives far away from me and so I try everything to please them all.

I organized aunt Margot’s birthday party before I left for North America.When I talked to my aunt about it, she requested champagne to give a toast. And so I got two bottles for 16 people – because it’s her birthday party. So we sit at the table and my aunt raises her glass and everyone cheers, and after an hour she asks me to pour a second glass. I am thinking shortly about it and then think to myself- two small glasses are ok. But the visiting lady gives me the evil eye and says to my aunt that she should be careful with her diabetes (which is true) and that she thinks she shouldn’t drink this glass anymore. By this time everyone else is getting calm in the room and looks at my aunt who has already raised the glass and she looks at the visiting lady and says with a very firm voice

“I am 93 and I have my birthday today…I don’t give a flying shit about my diabetes today!”

Cheers, Aunt Margot!!! I hope you give a flying something on many more birthdays ! I love you! You can imagine we all rolled under the table…even visiting lady laughed, she left shortly after though.

And isn’t it true?…if you are in that age…you should be still able to decide on certain things and also when to give a flying something…!

Wishing you a wonderful day

huge hugs

nat

Nat

Last week I went to visit my friend Julie Fei Fan Balzer and be sure enough to get a whole blogpost about this adventure ;)  But one  of the fun highlights of the day was that Julie and her amazing Mom Eileen actually did a Podcast that day and that deserves it’s own blogpost. Here is beautiful Julie setting up the recording

They invited me and two of my other most favorite artists in the world: Birgit Koopsen and Louise Nelson to chat about working in the very U.S.A.-based craft industry when you don’t live in the U.S.A.  We discussed economics, cultural differences, personal journeys, shipping costs, and so much more! I was sitting in the next room to Julie looking out to the skyline of New York, while chatting with her, Birgit in the Netherlands and Louise in Australia.

We had a blast! We laughed a lot but I think you might find it also interesting – so listen yourself:

If you can’t see the player above, click here.

I hope you have fun listening to it!

Huge hugs

nat

Nat

Last year in January I quit my job as a paralegal, which I was for 17 years and decided to dedicate my time to the n*Studio full time. Do Art and teach workshops. If you would have told me 10 years ago when my ambition was still to be a successful lawyer one day, that this would be my future, I would have told you that you are NUTS!

Recently one of my former lawyer-bosses and I had coffee together and he asked me how I was doing with teaching workshops and “Was it worth quitting a well paid job?”. He didn’t mean it in a disapproval way -quite the opposite – everyone in my former law office supported my idea although they are still telling me I should come back. (if you read it…sorry Dudes – the answer is still NO – LOL)

This was an excellent question -I am sure there are people in my family and friend’s circle that wonder about the very same thing. And it is a good question to think about and put it in words.

Now let’s be honest and state the reasons that are not part of WHY I teach – let’s get over this first:

I do not teach because it is such an awesome money-making machine…quite opposite – LOL. I will not deny that it is my living and that it is important for me to make some money, but I do not in my dreams expect this to be something that will make me rich. I sweat as much about bills and spending as any other person that probably reads my blog. It is also a big risk if you do not know, if you will teach next month, next year, if the sign ups will be well for the next class etc. And yes …it sometimes leads to a bit sleeplessness. But you know what ? All the reasons below for why I teach make it worth it!

I do not teach because I work less than in a law office. Yep- surprise huh? Even with all the stress in a law office and all the deadlines I was not working as much as I do right now. Yes I worked over time there too a lot but my weekend was a weekend and when I finally went home, I closed the door in my mind to that office and didn’t open it till I was back there. But…believe me…I smile way more now when I did working at the law office;)

I do not teach because the traveling takes me to all those different countries. Yes, I do see a lot of the world and that is awesome, but I traveled before a lot too and that was just for pleasure. There is many many times were I just fly in to a place, see maybe a tiny bit of the neighborhood and then the store, my sleeping place and the airport and that is it. If I would add more days to see the area, I would not make any money at all. Traveling for a job is tiring but it also makes you appreciate everything you have at home even more.

Here are the reasons why I enjoy teaching:

When I teach I do what I love …playing with paint and paper and other media

I love meeting so many different people. I can truly say that I have enjoyed every single class I taught .When I was working as a paralegal I saw people non-stop too but they weren’t there because they were happy. There is rarely someone going to a law office because they have a really really good time right now and just wanna hang out with a lawyer. But in a class I have people who want to do something creative and on top they are generously spending their precious time with me, because they want to. That is quite amazing and I am so thankful for this!

I am so giddy about all those possibilities to be creative – I want to share them. I mean really why would you not share them?

I truly believe that EVERYBODY is creative and that this creativity just has to be free-ed. I thought for the longest time of my life I wasn’t creative and I am so happy I was proved wrong.

My Students never cease to amaze me and inspire me to no end. I learn constantly something new in my workshops through my students. Seeing their creative take on my lessons is the best of all. Even in an Online Workshop seeing the work of my students is my favorite reward.

Teaching pushes me to do new things, get out of the box, check out things thoroughly.

I was never as happy in my entire work life as I am right now. I feel so full filled like never before. I am curios of every single new workday and what it might bring, what projects might get done, what people I will met .

;

;

So, was it worth quitting a well paid job?

What would be your dream job if you could choose (think no boundaries) or if you love your current job, what do you do?

huge hugs

Nat

Nat

Some of my readers know that the last two months have been a bit hard for regarding my beloved great-aunt Margot. So this is a bit of heavyhearted post, but I promise there is a point to be so long-winded and for what I thought was a beautiful lesson.

My aunt Margot, who is 93, had a heart attack and a stroke in June. She miraculously survived and she is doing now a lot better again. Of course the stroke took it’s toll and her dementia is now worsened to a point that we cannot fulfill her wish anymore to stay alone in her apartment.

About 15 years ago my aunt Margot had asked me if I would be her care taker and back then when I was in my mid twenties, I said of course yes, but I was also scared and I didn’t see why she would need to think about dementia and/or her passing away. She would set up photos and talk about how she would like to have things handled if the “unspeakable” would happen. She chose an elderly home but made me do a promise, that I would let her live in her apartment as long as possible and I did so. The last yeas she had meals on wheels, someone doing grocery shopping for her and running errands and nurses coming in in the morning and the evening to help her.

When aunt Margot recovered a bit from her heart attack and stroke I was told she would under no circumstance be able to live alone in her apartment any longer, even if I continued with the services that were set up for her. I had decided long ago that I would talk openly with her about decisions and so I thought it would the hardest day when I finally went to tell her. It wasn’t. She has always been a very positive and also practical person and when we talked about her going to an elderly home, she actually said, that she understands that this is a good decision. She was sad, but I could also tell she was relieved because the last incident had scared her a lot.

Two days before my flight was scheduled to Canada a room in the elderly home she had picked, freed up and we had to move her in within a week. Needless to say it was a bad timing and that the two days before my long trip were a nightmare to organize everything, especially if you take into account that I live about 4 hours away from her. My husband then took care of the first wave of furniture, setting her room up and making sure she would get into the new home finding some of her beloved belongings. The rest I had to take care of later when I was back from the trip.

She adjusted well, although a bit sad in her new home. The nurses told me that they love her, she is a happy person and she is such a good spirit that she even makes the grumpiest guys that never laugh, giggle. My other great-aunt, Waltraud, who is 86, actually took it a lot harder. I think, the thought of being in this position maybe soon, is weighing very hard on her. Also seeing my aunt Margot forgetting how to do every day life things, like how to comb her hair or how to fix a roll for breakfast is something that she and also I have a hard time to digest.

I spare you with a lot of things that had to be done in between, I am sure that many of you have been already in similar situations, so you know about the emotional rollercoaster ride, the worries about your loved ones, the huge amount of work and logistics that go along with it, the unspeakable time you have to spent on paperwork (one more stupid letter from health insurance and I might go bonkers!), paying bills and bills and sorting things. But I would like to point one thing out….LOL- the thing that this whole post was actually going to be about.

As the room of my aunt in her elderly home is just a small room, I had to go through all her belongings in her huge 2-bed room (3-Zimmer Wohnung in Deutschland) apartment. It never occurred to me what an emotional draining process this would be. Yes, I know she is still alive and I am sure it is even harder if you have to go through the things when you lost your loved one. But nonetheless, mind you, there is someone who you have to tell why a certain piece can’t make it’s way to the new home. The short disappointed look, with some tears building up, and then she catches herself and says “oh well, it is all ok, I just don’t think about it, it is what it is and I have a good home here” And on the other hand you have these beautiful moments, when you carried in another one of her little treasures and how her face lightens up and she is all giddy with excitement and tells you a story that belongs to that certain piece with that you just made her day with.

Going through things that my aunt had treasured made me cry all the time. Taking all her things in my hand and making the decision to either, bring it to her, give it to someone else, take it myself or throw it away has made me almost crazy. Even my husband who helped me some of the days was visibly touched by this process. (It’s ok hubs, Dudes have feelings too ;) ).

These are things that someone took a whole live to collect. So many things: photos, slides (thousands from 1963 to 2003), tchotchke, vases, table clothes, clothing, papers, letters, books, music, medicine (anyone up for some medicine outdated in the 50s?), the gun that I had to call the police for to collect (what was she thinking? That she would shoot the intruder while holding on to her walker?), crafting boxes with finished and unfinished pieces, Christmas-Easter-EveryDay-Decoration, glasses, handbags throughout every decade of her life… the list could go on and on.

And then there are those dishes – the sets. There is the one that she got for her wedding in the 40s – a whole coffee and dinner set – 24 pieces each single item. It was the one for the super special occasions – 12 pieces her wedding set and the fitting 12 set that was from even earlier as my great grandparents got it for their wedding.  It fit into three moving boxes!

And then the 10-piece set. The one that was for the normal special occasions. And the one for normal special Sundays. And the better 6-piece set for a better dinner and of course the 6 -piece set for the everyday life- oh wait, there is two of those sets.

My husband and I decided to take the 24 piece one—-I know…..it is a LOT…but I couldn’t live with the thought of just dumping it and we were saying…you know what…we can use it for super special occasions and it is a family heirloom.

When I was talking to my other aunt, Waltraud, we were talking about how hard it is to do these decisions. So I mentioned the special dishes and she looked at me and said something that stuck to me in such a way, it made me write this post.

She said: “You know….there is one thing I already regret and it might sound weird, but I do regret that I did not use my  special dishes every day especially when I knew that Walter (explaining note: my uncle who died a couple of years ago of cancer), would die soon. Why do we not make every day special and use those plates? And so what, if one of those dishes breaks! You and Jim should use it every day now, otherwise you will just hoard it in your cabinet, the special occasions will be less and less and in the end….one of your younger relatives will take it and also just store it in their cabinet until they have a special occasion they can use it. What is the point of it? Think about it!”

Have you heard what she said? I did. I swallowed hard. She is so right. What is the special special occasion? Isn’t every day worth to celebrate with the wonderful things you have? These things are dear to you because you chose them – USE THEM! Isn’t every day special? Aren’t you special enough to use your special dishes, or the special dress or to spent  time on something special on a normal day! You are Worthy – so go and do something special tomorrow, and if it is just setting up the dinner table with the super special dishes you have.

Nat

Nat

We have this nice river Alster – besides the river Elbe – which is dammed in the city center and form two huge artificial lakes there. It adds a lot of beauty to our city- and once in a while in winter it freezes.

It freezes so much that you can walk on it – …kind of like..it could be safe enough to walk on it- we won’t kill you if you do so but we also might not save you if you do so. This happened last 2 years ago and is in itself rare.

But then…..VERY VERY RARELY it freezes so that the city of Hamburg officially says – ok…you can go on it on your risk (yes….there is a difference to former said ;) ) and we will safe you when you break in AND – you can even have a little party called “Alstervergnügen” on the “Lake”.

This happend last in 1997 – so 15 years ago.

So all Hamburgers (stop laughing – that is what we are called) LOOOOVEEE when this happens.

They say about 700000 people visited the ice this weekend -and we were two of them :)

You know what an outdoor party in the winter means in Germany right?

Sausage Booths (well- that is also a given thing in summer ;) and mulled wine. That is pretty much it – and yet it is so much fun.

I had no ice skates – at the last move 5 years I decided the Alster might never ever freeze again…oh well ;)

BTW – it took about 1 hour till we – totally bundled up were freezing in the ice cold wind on the alster- so we headed home and Kitty was like…PAH – “why on earth would you leave cozy warm house anyway???” ;)

And so the rest of the day we worked drinking hot tea and having the heater go bonkers :)

What is your favorite local winter thing to do ? Ice Skating, skiing?

Nat

Nat

This has been such an amazing but also super exciting roller coaster year for me and that is reflected in some of my favorite Blog Posts as well – so I will connect the year review with my favorite posts :)

At the beginning of the year I decided to leave my secured job as a paralegal – a job I was very good at, did for 17 years and where I earned well and where I had amazing bosses and colleagues. All to become a full time artist. And it started with some blog posts reflecting that step:

Life Changes and Life is good

When I was writing this I was soooo full of fear and yet so excited and it is amazing to look back and think – wow – little did I know :) Little did I know how amazing the ride would be, how draining and hard at times and I can only say- Sooo glad I did this!

Which leads to this post:

The key to change is to let go of fear

This is such a true post and it needs to be read more often. Fear is what grabs you when you get rejected or things are not working out the way they should go. And more than once this year I was proofed that letting go of the fear is good for changes :)

My biggest supporter has been my husband and my friends! Without you I would never made this decision. Thank you so much for believing in me – I’m truly grateful for you all!!! And my blog readers who have been so amazingly supportive- you rock!!!!!

I have been extremely lucky that I had many amazing opportunities to teach workshops all over the world including Germany, Greece, Norway, Australia, Spain and the USA. And I have enjoyed pushing myself with more Online Workshops especially with the Über*Media Workshop series.

I had a lot of chances this year to play and do some stuff in my studio – but only after a while – because getting adjusted to my new life was weird ;)  Now Studio time is part of my daily work- and it gives it a different feel. It took me almost a year to finally start reorganizing my studio – with the help of my friend Julie…..and it is still not done- LOL

Reorganizing my n*Studio

Check out Julie’s blog in the new year- she is doing a whole Reorganizing Series!!!

Here are some of my favorite tutorials this year:

Acrylic Canvas Flower Tutorial:

Working with Acrylic Paints is one of my favorites and I loved get reminded on those flowers I taught last year in Paris.

Wedding Card Tutorial:

It is a bit different from usual cards you would send out for weddings but I love it because it is so different and I know the recipients appreciated this.

3 DIY Silk Screen Printing Tutorials:

I loved this one because when we did the Fall crop at Cocoa Daisy and after I chose this theme, I thought by myself- what did you do? What am I supposed to do now? And it pushed me hard to think of some ways and I loved the outcome afterwards :)

And this year was also a year where I did other things I have never done before- like Live Ustreams for Companies like Prima Marketing and Tattered Angels.

Prima Workshop – Romantic Grunge

The feeling after the first show was so good- I had been so scared about this live show and although there were many accidents…like spray paint at places on my body there it shouldn’t end up or a canvas that fell onto my head- it was great and taught me…in the end all will be working out fine :)

One of my favorite blogpost is also the capture of Julie and my Mixed Media Circus Event

Mixed Media Circus Event Recap

For this self organized event of my dreams there was a huge amount of planning and organization involved and it was just as cool as I imagined. Julie and I had a blast with a wonderful group of AWESOME and international students! It will carry me a long way with happiness thinking back to this :)

I also love this blog post:

Let’s experiment in the n*Studio

It was fun sharing how ideas spring and actually- although this is not part of the Über*Media Gesso Workshop – a few ideas sparked out from this for the workshop ;) I also realized I learned a lot more since then in doing videos ….wowsers- and I’m still learning – LOL.

And then last but not least…. 29 Ways to stay Creative

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Hb2pYQCZKpc]

A video that sparked a vision of mine for the a collaboration which later lead to the Creative Jump Start Summit 2012 – and I so can’t wait for it to begin so I can share with you :)

So, all in all it was a great year! For the next year I have some wishes and goals for myself . One of it is spending more time again with my friends who have come awfully short this year. I also want to make more of my time which actually will help with the former said ;) . I also need to take things in a calmer way and also learn to let things go! I have a couple plans and dreams as an artist and I know there is an awesome year to come and I’m looking forward to 2012 – Onward and Upward as my friend Rachel often says :)

Thank you all for all your support throughout the year!!! I wish you a wonderful and creative happy New Year 2012!

Huge hugs and see you next year – LOL

Nat

Nat

My top ten photos of this year are not top ten because they are awesomely good- LOL – nope- because they have meaning to me :) – so let’s see:

This one I love because it was the end of CHA in January – breaking down the booth. The work there was very intense and draining – though there were so many awesome things and the pictures says it all – huzzle buzzle and sunset :) So looking forward going there again in 3 weeks (EEEK)

This picture from Greece reminds me of an amazing day in wonderful company in Athens . It was such a wonderful workshop trip and those girls truly made it special with doing a nice city tour on one of the days!

Singapore- I loved the colors, and then this park – amazing – calm and beautiful.

A nice day at the beach in Australia after my workshop tour there – it was rewarding and beautiful!

This will be stuck forever as one of the pictures of Australia for me  – Sitting on the terrace, winding the day down with a nice fire – priceless!

and…hahahah- do I need to explain why this picture is one of my faves….?

Tandem Bike on Cape Cod…it was a beautiful day and we laughed so hard that day…..

Another Cape Cod photo – this morning when I woke up in a beautiful light in the sleeping room – it made me just gasp and grap the feeling “What a wonderful Life”

And this one …although I know Julie for a while now- it is a photo that speaks for a new and wonderful friendship that goes beyond the industry :) Love it!

And this photo of my grand aunt making nonsense at her birthday party – LOL – is my total favorite this year. There have been many moments this year where we didn’t know if she would celebrate her birthday this December and there has been a lot of moments where it was weighing tough on me alone trying to find out what is best for her . I think we made some good decisions and here she is !!! I love her so much and I’m extremely happy for all the time we spent together this year! Here is to another year aunt Margot!

Have you taken the time and looked at some of your pictures this year? What was your favorite one?

Have a wonderful day :)

Nat

This weekend we celebrated my beloved grand aunt Margot’s 92nd birthday and as always it was inspiring and wonderful to spent time with her. My aunt is not only incredible fit for her age, but she is also pretty funny and witty. I guess the way of laughing out loud with a big open mouth is passed down to me ;)  She has to be the most generous, honest and open hearted person I know and although her life wasn’t always an easy one, she the happiest and most optimistic person you can imagine.

Every time we celebrate her birthday there are less and less friends around because that is what happens when you get older. But the laughter about stories from the past and people long passed away are always one of my favorite at this parties. And then there were these words of wisdom yesterday that WoWed me away:

My sweet aunt Waltraud looking at me all of a sudden and saying: ” Awful, all of us old people only live in memories, we are not experiencing anything new”

My aunt Margot patting me from the side saying in response to this: ” Oh, it is not that bad, just make sure NOW it is going to be wonderful memories ”

Cheers to you Aunt Margot- you are so right and as you are my role model, I will make sure to follow your words of wisdom! Love you!

nat

Nat